RAINY OVERCAST COLD MORNING OF NOVEMBER 14, 2021 | PHOTO BY JENNIFER SEE STUDIOS

“It seems you are alone. You are not; even now he is taking your hand and guiding you by a way you cannot see. If you are unhappy, you shouldn’t take it as a mark of God’s disfavor. Just the contrary. It might be the very sign he loves you. He shows his love, not by helping you avoid suffering; by sending you suffering, by keeping you there.
To suffer binds you to something higher than yourself, higher than your own will; it takes you from the world, to find what lies beyond it. You are not only to endure patiently the troubles he sends, we are to regard them as gifts, as gifts more precious than the happiness we wish for ourselves.”

SCRIPT EXTRACTED FROM 2016 MOVIE KNIGHT OF CUPS (TIME PUNCH 1:38:00)

GUESTS ARRIVING AT THE CHAPEL | PHOTO BY JENNIFER SEE STUDIOS

I have a very clear memory of a moment that occurred in my late teens’ early twenties when I was walking through a new age store in Munich, Germany. The store was filled with your typical new age objects: crystals, incense, meditation cushions and spiritual books. I found myself gravitating to a shelf lined with Tarot card decks and their related guidebooks. I immediately reached for the Aleister Crowley Tarot deck. I had no idea what it was, or anything about Tarot cards or why I gravitated towards that deck; but I had to have it.

For the next 20 years that Tarot deck accompanied me wherever I went. There was never a time when I did not know where it was. On a rare occasion I would sit with the deck and pull cards to assist with questions I had, but I never really knew what the answers meant or how to fully apply the interpretation of the cards to my life.

JUSTIN AND CELIA AT THEIR WEDDING CEREMONY OPENING WORDS | PHOTO BY JENNIFER SEE STUDIOS

Fast forward to October 2021, I was sitting in quiet contemplation, trying to figure out my way forward through a desert of wedding apathy. In four weeks, I was getting married to a man who I loved, and who loved me back. We wanted to commit ourselves to a life together and that was something that we felt needed to be acknowledged and celebrated. I knew I had to find something to grab ahold of, but there are typically no life rafts in the desert.

PARENTS OF THE BRIDE | PHOTO BY JENNIFER SEE STUDIOS

Seemingly out of nowhere I thought of the Tarot cards. I had not referred to them for 10 years, but in a moment of desperation I retrieved them from the closet and unpacked them from the storage box. I sat in quiet meditation and asked for help in understanding what was happening; the card that I pulled was XVI The Tower from the Major Arcana. The guidebook that I purchased along with the deck was Tarot: Mirror of the Soul by Gerd Ziegler. What follows are a few extractions from Ziegler’s interpretation of The Tower.

Mars; far-reaching inner transformation; healing; the old is destroyed to make room for the new; spiritual renewal; self-knowledge. The power of the consuming, purifying fire destroys the old and sweeps it away. Nothing is spared; the tower of the ego will be shaken to its very foundation.

Anything you attempt to cling to will be destroyed by this transforming power. The apparent securities of the past have begun to waver and topple. All that remains is trust; the knowledge that all events in life arise from the endless love of the universe and bring us the possibility for learning and recognition. This understanding of the true nature of events transforms even apparent losses or painful disappointments into the valuable gifts they are. Times of desperation and intervention, when recognized, can become the most fruitful growing phases of our lives.

The tower is one of the highest cards for healing. [] The strokes of fate may seem [] tragic and unfathomable, but they come to us only because we need them and have created them for ourselves either consciously or unconsciously. If you can recognize and accept these laws of the universe, you possess all you need for true liberation and total transformation to occur.

JUSTIN RECITES HIS VOWS TO CELIA | PHOTO BY JENNIFER SEE STUDIOS

To be sure, I had read the interpretation associated with this card many times before; but something was different this time. I felt like I understood with every cell of my being what the words meant, and how it related to my life in that moment. I would have to write a book about my life story to help you fully grasp the whole picture for me, but for now I’ll explain it like this: my deep state of fatigue, apathy, and inner turmoil, cracked open my shell (ignorance), allowing the water (consciousness) to reach the seed (spirit), and begin the process of germination (creation).

PARENTS OF THE GROOM | PHOTO BY JENNIFER SEE STUDIOS

In that moment I understood clearly that I was being called to surrender; I needed to reconnect with spirit and put my faith steadfastly in something bigger than myself. This would not be a quick or easy process, and for sure there would be challenges along the way; but the Eternal Life Spirit has a way of dangling carrots in your path to affirm that you are heading in the right direction.

INTRODUCING JUSTIN AND CELIA BOLIEIRO | PHOTO BY JENNIFER SEE STUDIOS

I buckled up my bootstraps and forced myself one step at a time to work through the long wedding to-do-list. Every time I encountered fatigue or resistance, I took a deep breath and reminded myself that the entire event and all the details would magically come together. Armed with my steadfast faith I would “will” a beautiful wedding experience into my existence. All I had to do was show up, work hard, make decisions that pointed in the direction of where I wanted to be, and have faith that I would get there. As the great Nelson Mandela once said, “A winner is a dreamer who never gives up.”

NEWLYWEDS POSING FOR A KISS | PHOTO BY JENNIFER SEE STUDIOS

The challenges that I encountered were many, and they showed up daily. Top of my critical list was to manifest a wedding dinner with, at the very least, my immediate family. I wanted to celebrate after our wedding ceremony with beautiful food, in a beautiful space, and have beautiful memories of this once in a lifetime event. I put that intention out to the universe and worked at clearing any negative energy that bounced back.

CONGRATULATIONS WITH PARENTS OF THE GROOM | PHOTO BY JENNIFER SEE STUDIOS

There was a lot of stress amongst the wedding party and the guests, especially around someone getting sick and not being able to attend our ceremony; and then there was the possibility of Justin or I becoming ill? I refused to go there. When the issue came up, I cleared it out of my thoughts and showered everyone with the light, love, and the protection of God. I trusted that whoever was meant to be there would be there, even if in the end it was only Justin and myself.

SNUGGLES AND SWEET WORDS WITH JUSTIN’S GRANDMA | PHOTO BY JENNIFER SEE STUDIOS

Continue reading My Wedding Story | Part Four

Justin and I extend a very special thank you to Justin’s parents for everything they contributed towards our wedding, especially the financial and emotional support that went along with this wild and crazy journey. We love you both very much.

OFFICIANT | GORETTE MARQUES

Our wedding officiant Gorette was introduced to us through the chapel where Justin and I were married. She was wonderful right from the first meeting. She guided us through our ceremony options, our rehearsal, and our wedding, with professionalism, patience, and kindness. If you are looking for someone to perform your wedding ceremony, we loved Gorette and highly recommend her services.

JOINED BY LOVE IN MARRIAGE
OFFICIANT GORETTE

MY WEDDING STORY | PART ONE
MY WEDDING STORY | PART TWO
MY WEDDING STORY | PART THREE
MY WEDDING STORY | PART FOUR
MY WEDDING STORY | PART FIVE
MY WEDDING STORY | PART SIX