BRIDE CELIA ALIDA RUTTE GETS FINAL TOUCHES ON THE MORNING OF HER WEDDING DAY | PHOTO BY JENNIFER SEE STUDIOS
Having spent a good part of my life on what I would call an intense spiritual journey, I have developed and nurtured a strong faith in something greater than ourselves. Call it God, creative energy, a higher power—whatever term is comfortable—I do believe in the existence of an Eternal Life Spirit, and that we are co-creators with this divine force.
I also believe that we are directly connected to this force through what some might call intuition, a voice, a knowing, or even transmissions, that guide us through our life. If we have learned to identify this guide, and we are connected, listening, and trusting in the process of life, we have the potential to tap into profound wisdom; and that wisdom is the key to our enlightenment.
I have learned—and a thousand stories I could tell you—that it is often in times of the greatest adversity and chaos, that fissures will appear in our shell of ignorance. These fissures may leave us feeling exposed and vulnerable; but it is in these exceptional moments that we may choose to surrender—to let go and let God.
This is one of those stories.
HANDMADE INVITATIONS AND DINNER MENU DESIGNED BY CELIA ALIDA RUTTE | PHOTO BY JENNIFER SEE STUDIOS
To all of you out there who are looking for love it is true what they say, that love often finds you where you least expect it. I had spent the better part of a decade trying to find a partner through online dating sites, and my husband and I ended up meeting one fateful evening at a local gym in our neighbourhood.
I usually went to the gym in the morning for my workout, but that day I went in the early evening. While I was engaged in a conversation with one of the trainers at the gym, Justin came over and casually joined our conversation. I had never seen him there before, but I didn’t think anything of it. Justin, however, had already noticed me working out, and earlier in the evening asked the same trainer if he knew who I was.
WEDDING FLORALS DESIGNED BY CELIA ALIDA RUTTE | PHOTO BY JENNIFER SEE STUDIOS
Later, as I was getting ready to head home, Justin came up to me and wasted no time in getting to the point. He told me he thought I was very attractive and asked me if I would have a coffee with him. It immediately struck me as unique. No one does that, at least not in my dating experience; and I was really impressed by his courage.
Justin had a calm, non-aggressive, confidence about him, and although I was intrigued, I could tell that he was much younger than I was. I was flattered by his request and told him that it was very sweet, but I was a lot older than I looked. He asked me how old I was and when I told him, he paused for a few seconds as he took in the 17-year age difference; and then he said, “well that’s okay”.
WEDDING DRESS BY PAPILIO WITH CUSTOM LACE ADDITIONS DESIGNED BY CELIA ALIDA RUTTE | PHOTO BY JENNIFER SEE STUDIOS
I handed Justin my business card—yes, my business card—and went home and told one of my girlfriends what had happened. We both giggled about it, and I let my ego delight in the fact that I had been hit on by a man 17 years younger than me. Then she said very matter of fact, “he will never call”, and I repeated back with matching assertion, “he will never call”, and we moved on to talk about something else.
Exactly three days later I received a text message; “Hey Celia, it’s Justin from the gym, coffee this weekend?” I was not expecting to hear from him, and Justin had waited the “required” three days so as not to appear desperate; I noted this. Surprised by the fact that he had reached out, my curiosity persuaded me to accept the invitation.
The following Sunday I showed up at the coffee shop and immediately noticed something out of the ordinary. Justin was nervous, and he had clearly put thought into what he was going to wear. It was out of the ordinary because I could tell he did not want to screw up this coffee date. I opened myself up to the man who was in front of me.
As we talked and got to know one another I began to see glimpses of the side of Justin I ultimately fell in love with; a caring thoughtful man with traditional values and an open mind, a man who wanted to share a life with and commit to one person, but not necessarily follow the traditional and carved out path of the herd; a life that involved many of the same goals, dreams and aspirations as my own.
HOTEL CHALLENGES: WHERE TO HANG THE DRESS | PHOTO BY JENNIFER SEE STUDIOS
The first year that Justin and I dated, I experienced A LOT of anxiety. Never had I been so troubled by a relationship. I liked Justin but I was having a hard time leaning into the relationship. I was waiting for the ball to drop. I was waiting for him to wake up and realize that our age difference would be a serious problem. I was waiting for his family and friends to convince him he was making a mistake. I was fearful that I was wasting precious time investing in a relationship that would not work; yet at the same time our relationship continued to deepen, and the trust and love between us grew. Every time I talked about our age difference Justin acted and responded like I was the only one thinking about it. His family welcomed me with open arms and his friends seemed accepting of us as a couple.
In the second year of our relationship my anxiety started to soften. Justin was consistent. He never wavered in his feelings for me or his desire to explore our future. He began asking me my thoughts about getting married; and in July of 2018—eighteen months after we met—we were engaged.
To celebrate we went on a weekend trip to Niagara Falls, and then broke the news to our family. Justin was leaning towards having a big wedding with the church ceremony, the white dress, and all the traditional fanfare. His family is Portuguese and that felt like the right fit for him and his family; however he was open to other directions. I had never imagined myself getting married in that way, admittedly thinking it was a complete waste of money; but I was open to the idea that my views were conditioned by family values and my Dutch background. The more we talked about it, the more the idea grew on me. Getting married was an important milestone in one’s life; and approaching the age of 50, having never been married before, I certainly had something to celebrate in the blessing of our relationship.
HELP FROM MOM WITH A THOUSAND LITTLE BUTTONS | PHOTO BY JENNIFER SEE STUDIOS
As the months passed, I grew more and more excited about a big wedding celebration. Part of the allure lay in the organizing and planning of our ceremony and reception. In my late 20’s I was ordained as an Interfaith minister and had the honour of being the officiant at six weddings. I also composed wedding ceremonies for many couples, and so it would be INCREDIBLE to compose my own wedding ceremony with my husband to be.
Along with my ministry background, I have been working as a designer in the interior design industry for two decades. That pretty much covered off the required skill set to orchestrate the details of our big day, and I was excited about the idea of being my own wedding planner/designer. In March of 2019 Justin and I embraced the big white wedding approach and signed a contract with a beautiful and popular local venue for our wedding ceremony and reception. We were to be married on Saturday July 11th, 2020, in a small chapel, followed by a reception for 130 people in one of the adjacent halls.
FINAL TOUCHES | CELIA PUTTING ON HER EARRINGS | PHOTO BY JENNIFER SEE STUDIOS
Energy was high in the year that followed as Justin and I planned the details of the event, selected our menu, and finalized the guest list. Shopping for a wedding dress was of course exciting; knowing exactly what I wanted it only took me a few days to find a dress that I loved and would enjoy wearing. I also worked away at composing/writing the ceremony, and personally designing the wedding invitations.
In January of 2020 Justin and I printed the final wedding invitation design, folded them all by hand and mailed the invitations out to family and friends. To our surprise ten of my aunts, uncles, cousins, and nieces decided to make the trip from Holland to attend our wedding. We excitedly confirmed the details with them and they began booking their flights and working out their accommodations.
A CLOSE-UP OF CELIA’S MAKEUP SEEN THROUGH HER WEDDING VEIL | PHOTO BY JENNIFER SEE STUDIOS
At some point in our human journey, we will come to realize that life does not move in a straight, even line from one beautiful milestone to the next; and it makes no difference if we have our ducks lined up, because there is no guarantee that the ducks will follow the program.
Four months away from our nuptial celebration our wedding journey took an unexpected turn, and then another, and then another. The straight line that I had so carefully drafted with my ministerial and design skills, abruptly ended in what looked like a tousled bird’s nest.
Continue reading My Wedding Story | Part Two
EMMA SALTZMAN | HAIR STYLIST
A big hug and smooch to Emma Saltzman for taking care of my hair on the day of our wedding. Emma was my hairdresser for close to 20 years before moving to Nova Scotia. I don’t know if I will forgive her for moving, but taking care of me on my wedding day is softening the heartbreak. Thank you beautiful!
MARY NAMMOUR | MAKE UP ARTIST
A very big thank you to the sweet and lovely Mary Nammour for her beautiful makeup artistry. Everyone loved her, and any bride will be blessed to have her around on the big day. You can find her at NAMMOUR.ca or on Instagram @nammourcosmetics
MY WEDDING STORY | PART ONE
MY WEDDING STORY | PART TWO
MY WEDDING STORY | PART THREE
MY WEDDING STORY | PART FOUR
MY WEDDING STORY | PART FIVE
MY WEDDING STORY | PART SIX
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